chi POM POm pom

Bathrooms are my new expertise

2012-01-13T11:49:00.005-07:00

From horrible mismatched colours and a crappy crappy paint job

to a test colour, revealing that the floor tiles make everything look like a 50s diner.

And now...

I know I will still love this next year because I sanded the varnish off from under the peeling paint on the cabinets...AND I used primer. Apparently unknown concepts to the previous painter. Also, I love the new happier colour. Not to mention that it was an entire week of my life spent working like crazy through a severe head cold AND it was so so worth it!

Windows are my new expertise

2011-11-23T10:19:00.008-07:00

Let's hope I still feel that way after winter has taken its toll on them.

Trip to the Drum

2011-08-07T11:04:00.003-06:00

The final leg of the journey with dear spanish friends was a trip to the badlands and the dinosaur museum that gets better and better every time I go there (okay that's more than 5 years apart but anyway...). By then we were a little sick of each other, they were already thinking about all the things they were going to have to do when they arrived home, I was tired of all the driving and they were tired of always being passengers, they were feeling I was doing too much for them and I was wishing they'd just realize that this is standard behaviour here and not some neediness or desire to overcompensate for something on my part.

A 4 hour drive, at the end of which was an incredibly long long 23 km stretch of road construction. It was everything being done on such a large scale that I began to feel like I was dreaming. Finally the descent into the valley and sudden arrival in the dinosaur statue filled town.

At this point I was starting to wonder if I should have brought them on this long journey for the museum and hopefully the suspension bridge and the hoodoos (sadly we only made it to the first item, whereas the last is my favourite). Continuing to feel that I was a third wheel and wishing there were others there just to balance things out. Happy because I finally had an excuse to get back to this place.

And then they really seemed to enjoy the museum. So much so that we had to go back in to get A so we wouldn't be late arriving in cowtown. I enjoyed the museum too which was great because my recollection of it was that it was exhausting to go through.

Leaving was rushed and as always the view of the town and surrounding canyons disappears very suddenly so it seems that it was a mirage. Dreaming continued through a most amazing landscape of rolling hills, the perfect light of late afternoon sun, the blinding yellow of canola fields, green so light it was like Spring grass, and blue blue sky.

When I think of this visit that I've dreamed about for years, which was incredibly intense in some ways and very easy and natural in others, it's this last drive that I think of: Both of them sleeping or close to it, all of us feeling the closing of the journey, and me driving through a simple landscape that managed to surpass all of the mountain, glacier, bear cub, waterfall, iceberg views. No photos since I was driving but it's so clear in my mind's eye as I write this, I'm sure you can see it too.

Coal Chute

2011-08-02T16:05:00.002-06:00

As it turns out, getting back here was not as easy as I thought. I'm blaming it on my amazing guests that I just spent 2 weeks with on a tour of the province. One of whom I have been waiting 16 years for a promised visit from. It was great, I'm glad it's over, the burning desire to have this person visit is surprisingly and completely gone. yay.

Today, I have taken pictures of our coal chute entrance and sent them to a structural engineer. We have to re-brick part of our brick foundation and I definitely want to make sure we get it done correctly.

Also in the works...B is constructing a movable compost bin to put behind our amazing raspberry patch...I am correcting the sagging back door by means of epoxy, wooden tees, and a home improvement book that I'm counting on to be correct. Home ownership is still awesome.

Having so many desires fulfilled in one year is a little overwhelming and oddly depressing somehow. Who knew?

back in the swing of things

2011-06-17T11:56:00.004-06:00

After an intense hiatus that began with a lost hard drive, taking me through a return trip to Spain, a painful year of house hunting and finally moving into a new place...I think I may finally be able to return here.

I was wondering if I would ever have the urge to blog again and then recently I found myself posting a lot on fb where I would rather not and realized it's time.

yay.

My best student ever ever ever is moving away. I truly love all of my students and love working with them and learning from them no matter their commitment or skill level. This one is so special though because she practises all the time, does everything I ask (which is a lot), and that means that over the years we have been able to work on some amazing stuff. She's not only an accomplished classical player but has come so far with jazz chords and accompaniment that I have had to learn just as fast so I could keep her challenged. It's been fantastic and I'm so sad to see her go and just a little jealous of her next teacher.

I'm giving her a fake book of jazz standards as a going away gift because I don't know if she'll get to continue working on this with her next teacher and I would hate for her to lose all that she's learned. Then I thought, I'd really like her to have a cd of some of my favourites and the versions of them that I love.

All of this led to one long day on youtube. If you are anything like me you often get sidetracked by the goodies in the sidebar...it was a long and fantastic day of searching and I was in a euphoric state for the rest of the day but I kind of felt hungover the next day and am still a little lost 2 days later.

anyway here's the gem that had me singing my lungs out (happily I now live in a house and can do that!)

and then whilst watching it for the 20th time today, I came across this gem

which led to this.

and now I really must attempt to walk away from my computer.

The best interpretation

2010-03-30T12:34:00.003-06:00

all of the others of this prelude overdo the trills. I love the way he builds them here. from 8ths to triplets to 16ths. There's so much space in this interpretation.

I was teaching this last year to a student who has since quit but I'm addicted to it now. Chose it because of the fugue that follows (with supremely low volume), which my long lost friend happily referred to as the 'my socks are dirty' fugue.

Doppleganger?

2010-03-05T10:17:00.013-07:00

This week I have been told by three separate and completely unrelated people that there is someone out there that completely reminds them of me. Though I find these things interesting, I also find it pretty annoying especially when they then go on and on about how that person is sooooo me. Not an uncommon reaction I know as I have seen others become really irritable in a similar situation. What is it with the need to define others and make them fit into a stereotype? Often with me it's just someone with brown hair and a similar haircut.

Here is the first "me", which my friend did not clarify her reasons for, but another friend agreed that this was "sooooo me (hahahaha!!)" and in this case it's because of the "attitude" (also the brown hair, obviously). I love being defined by my often sarcastic sense of humour, don't you? There are no other facets to my personality and I'm never unsarcastic (exhibit A right here).

Of course, I was nothing like this as a kid. For one thing, I would have been afraid to look at, let alone speak to, the adult and my face would have turned ten shades of red in this situation. I would have had glasses on, ones that made my eyes look much bigger than they already are. Also, the attitude showed up much later.

I love this ad though... B LOVES the bit where he calls in the horse...we actually run to the tv when this comes on. I also love the one with the kid and the toy truck. His facial expression and comment when he gets the paper one makes me laugh and laugh.

Here is the second "me". I get this one a lot. Yellowbird probably does too I think. Something about the facial features that does fit into a "type" often described as "classic" or "english". It's quite characteristic of my Dad's side of the family from which I take a lot of traits...note the brown hair.

The third "me" I don't have a picture of and have never met, but a student told me that his girlfriend's friend looks like me (brown hair), talks like me, has the same sense of humour as me, and also wears glasses (like me!). He even went so far as to say sometimes he momentarily thinks she is me and that if we ever met, I'd probably feel like I was meeting my twin. Excellent.

So I told him about the guy I used to like at his age, who one day started dating a girl who really did look like me. He dated her for years during which time I was mistaken for her by her own friends, by his sister's friends, in bars, at the Uni, on the street...and I'm pretty sure even at his wedding years later (to someone else) because one guy there kept staring at me and then whispering to others excitedly, stopping just short of pointing. Personality wise, her and I were nothing alike, and I'm pretty sure I drove her crazy what with my rather conspicuous infatuation with her boyfriend, but I do have a fantastic photo of us both in profile, walking up some stairs (me caught in a rather unfriendly look at her) and the resemblance is kind of glaring.

To sum up: If you have brown hair, a classic english sort of look in certain angles, some attitude or a penchant for sarcasm, and glasses...we are likely twins. According to my student, we may even share a very distant ancestor. Also, though I haven't gone into it here, if you are rather tall with long limbs and slim for your height...hi, I'm sure we're soul mates.

As for the whole celebrity doppleganger thing...here are the ones I've been told I look like...it is not lost on me that one of these is often portraying another.

...though it's usually this other video people refer to. (I wish! but we are both thin and tall so that's a good start right?)

Okay now let's morph all of these people and their mannerisms (and brown hair!) into one person...it's me!.

10 year olds and their music

2010-02-18T12:25:00.005-07:00

The first one, I'm transcribing for a beginner right now!...the last one is from when I was ten. It's rather incredible how alike these songs are.

Found bookmark

2010-01-21T13:29:00.001-07:00

In a used book I've had for years but just never made it to the point where this was tucked away.

Coincidence? I think not

2010-01-19T05:14:00.007-07:00

B and I decided to try a new pub last Friday. New to us anyway. We were trying to avoid all the loud karaoke and bands at every other pub in our neighbourhood. But of course, this place had a band as well, by fluke a guy I work with was in it, and so we just gave up our quest for non-live music and stayed. And this is the story of how we saw this amazing band and really experienced the most fantastic evening that we've been talking about ever since AND the cover was only $5.

I can't remember the last time I saw such an incredible live show...by accident...and in such an interesting atmosphere. Okay not true, B and I agreed the last time was the last day of our honeymoon when we stumbled into a Jazz bar in Ottawa (photo below) that was complete with all Russian war posters and incredible Russian food (and a full DVD of the Eurythmics when the band was on their break).

This place which, contrary to the last reviewer's comments, does not have the coolest name (?!), just turned into one of my favourite places in the city. Here are my reasons:

the name and font are so terrible, it's fantastic
it's a bit of a dive and the sightlines to the stage are pretty good.
they serve poutine that is quite good
they serve perogies, which I didn't try but they were super cheap and if the poutine is good, how can the perogies not be?
the beer selection is oddly lacking and the staff is so laid back, sometimes it's hard to tell who works there
they play the worst early 80's rock in between sets. You know that kind that you forgot existed because no one includes it in their over-glorified memories of the 80's?
it's next to The Roxy where this guy is currently in a play that I hope to actually make it to
there's not much else around there in terms of bars so no annoying late night revellers floundering around outside (except for the ones you're with of course)

The band...honestly I can't remember the last time I smiled that much. By the end of the night I felt like I was drugged. The crowd included:

a Quebecois man that had come by just to see the band and kept looking around with a big grin on his face and saying "franchement!"
an older couple who kept moving closer to the stage and finally ended up dancing with...
the crazy dancing guys, one exactly like a certain zany ex-boyfriend and the other a bit like yellowbird's B mixed with a cartoon jazz guy and wearing a hat. really good dancing. really bizarre yet unaffected dancing. so much fun to watch.
the drama type crowd, who showed up later then all danced into a frenzy.

by the end of the night, the harmonica antics combined with the super high energy of the band and the crowd was hypnotic. Since then I have been walking around in a happy stupor.

the band?

front man plays the harmonica so well. so so well
he gets so into it when he's playing and singing, you forget where you are and what day it is
drummer plays just barely on the beat, I mean not slightly ahead of it and not in time like a metronome. in time in this amazing way where you keep thinking he won't quite make it. in some of those slow tunes the groove was just incredible
the lead guitarist solos were jaw dropping at times. I mean made you kind of pinch yourself
bass player, the best bass player neck moves ever
they began with watermelon man!
they covered Hideaway!! (see above)
their name is terrible but it doesn't matter they are so good

Icing on cake? Bought the cd and it's just as good! when does that ever happen?

Mortified

2010-01-12T10:26:00.004-07:00

Obviously this one's for you yellowbird.

Found this website via Tralalère !.

Can't wait for The Kids in the Hall show to begin tonight. Actually watched the annoying Hour last night just to see the interview. I would however like to stop having reminders that 20 years ago I was a teenager and not say...a baby. Where is all the time going?

I hear the secrets that you keep...

2010-01-11T10:03:00.002-07:00

I came across this blog today. http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com all blurbs from a sleep-talker.

Have you ever talked in your sleep?

I have only twice that I can remember. once I sat straight up and yelled at my sister "kiss my ass!". she was a little angry with me the next morning until she realized I had no idea what she was talking about. took a bit of convincing to make it clear to me.

Just after we got married I woke up trying to clench my teeth shut against screaming someone's name.

My dear Spanish friend both talks and walks in his sleep and if he's never told you, you might think you've had some conversations that in fact he has no recollection of. I find it very funny now that I know this. It has altered our history just a little subtle bit and that's such an interesting comment on communication, relationship and memory.

Must be...

2010-01-06T21:11:00.000-07:00

I really like that Dylan xmas album. a lot.

Last year's list repeated

2009-12-29T10:00:00.005-07:00

The rules:

The categories:
Things you learned this year
People you met
Things you don't want to take with you into 2010
Things you want to hold close as you pass into 2010
Things you're looking forward to in 2010
Things that were life changing in 2009
Things you hope to accomplish by the end of 2010

Now you can either give two answers for each category OR you can choose two from that list and give seven answers. No tags... if you like doing me-mes or have writer's block, go for it.

Things you learned this year

1. sometimes you just have to walk away
2. you might even have to walk away again and again

People you met

1. the son of an old friend
2. the daughters of her sister

Things you don't want to take with you into 2010

1. the fantastic audio added versions of my in-laws reading to their grand kids...this project is out of control.
2. the gossip - for the love of god, stop already!

Things you want to hold close as you pass into 2010

1. friends, all of them
2. family, all of them

Things you're looking forward to in 2010

1. return to one of my favourite places on earth to study
2. getting the house that did not materialize this year

Things that were life changing in 2010

1. the best performance of my life to date
2. my grandfather now has dementia and doesn't always know who I am

Things you hope to accomplish by the end of 2010

1. digitizing all of my videos and cassette tapes
2. getting the pile of leftover wedding stuff dealt with

Happy New Year!

Sometimes...

2009-12-16T10:23:00.007-07:00

when the delight of snow begins to wear off...

and people don't recognize when they should just stay home...

and the view becomes your only connection to the outside air...

when you suddenly find yourself in the 2nd coldest place on Earth...

the best thing to do is just get out your camera.

la la la

2009-12-08T09:37:00.004-07:00

I forgot...last month

2009-12-08T00:45:00.006-07:00

I woke up and it was groundhog day again

Let's hope it's helping him with this.

I can't stop listening to this

2009-11-15T23:27:00.005-07:00

I got hooked on a Schubert lieder kick after I went looking for a recording of this:

and discovered a baritone that I can't get enough of. Admittedly I wouldn't have noticed him as much if a friend hadn't commented on the singer as opposed to the song, but there you have it. Do you know the story of the Erlking? This Schubert lied is set to the text of the poem by Goethe which is in turn based on this German legend.

Isn't the piano part so excellent for this tale? And doesn't Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau do all the voices and characters so well? From Narrator, to Father, to Child, to charming and somewhat creepy Erlking? Since the first time I heard this, in a music history lesson that I was completely uninterested in, I have often gotten it stuck in my head. Playing it can be quite painful as the right hand just keeps banging out those octave triplets. My forearm hurts just thinking about it, and yet I crave a piano to bang it out on.

Here's Evgeny Kissin playing the Liszt transcription, all voices on the piano:

I saw Kissin play a concert in the Orpheum in Vancouver in 1999. I was meant to go with a co-worker, an elderly gentleman who taught singing in the room next to mine and loved classical music. He would give me a ride home from teaching with a new favourite interpreter to describe every time. Unfortunately he was also quite broke and had to cancel at the last minute. Fortunately, a former student had moved to Van and I was able to take her instead. Kind of funny really as without the interest of this man, I never would have thought to fly out there for it.

I was brutally sick... from eating anchovies I think...the discovery of an allergy? I came down with something like the worst bronchitis I've ever had and could barely breathe without coughing. A lot of the audience was sick as well and so in the moment or two between each song, a roar of coughing would let out and then everyone would hold their breath and he would begin the next piece. By the fourth piece, this whole coughing business was so absurd that he started to laugh when it all broke out. and the audience laughed too and then coughed some more. I think people were more self-conscious about noise than normal because it had been announced the concert was being recorded (for the CBC? I can't remember).

The other fantastic artist my friend introduced me to was the violinist Joshua Bell. The Kreisler album to be exact. What an incredible album.

Going back to the first video up there. I read about the setting on one of the videos, it`s an old palace near Munich...Schloss Ismaning, and that`s the Napoleon room (so named because the palace was built for a stepson of Napoleon). I love this comment someone wrote beneath

"I like the way Fischer-Dieskau starts it as if singing were just an extension of speech."

After a long hiatus and much annoyance, I have a new computer and some new inspiration to post. Also a lot of sorting out of files that are lost in the shuffle. Can it be that I may finally get it all in one spot? and actually know what it all is?

Scenery

2009-10-15T11:03:00.004-06:00

Have you seen this film?

It's so lovely to watch. The composition of each frame is just stunning. Coldness pervades and it's funny if your outside weather rather matches the inside of your tv. That last frame is not far from the current situation. (I'm sure in about 2 months I will laugh at that statement and look back with melancholy at this "warmer" time)

borders

2009-10-02T12:01:00.003-06:00

for this project....as usual it all links back to Ernesto somehow.

Music for this afternoon

2009-09-26T10:06:00.004-06:00

Have just discovered Alicia de Larrocha, my favourite interpreter of Granados on the piano, has passed away. Her interpretations are so wonderful. Just the right amount of drama and sentimentality but mostly, just the right tempo. So often these are interpreted at top speed and without much appreciation for the delicacy behind the drama. Maybe it's because it's such a feat to learn them at all. I love playing Granados. At least the ones that I can play of which the one below is my current favourite.

Some of the ones I'd love to play are really confusing to learn. Each bar is hours of deciphering and laborious practicing. Maybe when I finally get a piano of my own, I will be able to get through an entire goyesca.

A sort of new year

2009-09-24T08:35:00.004-06:00

"This is going to alter our perceptions of Anglo-Saxon England as radically, if not more so, as the Sutton Hoo discoveries."

Just why is that your name ms. hoo?

The show went well. Quite a few problems with the musicians, mainly memory lapses that left me dancing in silence or killing time while they sorted it out but as the subject was death, it all worked out just fine. In fact, watching the video, in two cases it actually worked out better. We had our debriefing yesterday, around planning issues and mistakes, and now I've recovered from the total confusion of not having to think about this anymore. Just a few barbed comments to let go of, from people who can't seem to help themselves, but I seem to be getting better at that. There were some surprise guests that kind of made my day when I found out on Monday...and there were some very supportive friends and acquaintances and that was wonderful.

This process of putting yourself out there...it's hard. It's hard because you know you still aren't presenting yourself with the full artfulness that you feel inside but don't yet have the ability to bring out. It's hard because it takes confidence reserves that aren't often relied on. It's hard because it makes you a target for others feelings of insecurity or inadequacy. It's so good, because it lets you live in the moment for brief glimpses of time and it also reminds you that we are all very much alike and all have moments on both sides of this coin. An excellent reminder to be humble and to be careful with words and projections (I need this reminder a lot).

Fall already

2009-08-30T21:38:00.003-06:00

Here is the latest poster I created for the show I'm in in just 3 weeks. That's me on the right in case you have no idea what I look like (or in case you do but just don't want to ask if that's meant to be me....)

I can't believe it's September in two days! Tomorrow is my last day off of piano teaching. I've been so busy with the upcoming show and the amazing summer of dance that it has really snuck up on me and I find myself nowhere near as prepared as I usually am. Usually I spend the summer reading up on things I don't know super well so when I get that student that really wants to only learn chording, I'm not scrambling like a maniac. Unfortunately there is a new student like that this year and I'm just too busy to over-prepare, so there is some definite scrambling and stress in my future.

Starting off the year exhausted is not my favourite thing to do but oh well, I'm excited about this show and I keep thinking that maybe it's better to get the stress over with early so I can get on with my other jobs and not feel overwhelmed.

More of the same it seems

2009-08-19T15:22:00.004-06:00

Okay well we gave the house back. There was a major structural problem with the upper floor. I am actually very okay with it. It started to feel like the wrong house and it was a strange relief when we decided it was.

It's been too crazy here to bother blogging. That whole emotional roller coaster combined with an incredible dance workshop and then a sinus infection and two major visits with people I love and never see enough of has wiped me out. This week is uber-choreograph and poster-create week for our upcoming show in September. Rehearsal this Sunday with all involved. I'm very close to crying from stress and instead I keep falling asleep in the middle of the day.

On a "thanks universe!" note, check out this photo of me dancing behind the most incredible woman in her classes 3 (3?!!!) years ago. A friend posted it on a facebook group and can't remember where she found it. I knew someone was taking photos but had never seen them. Who knew it was in an interview on the web? A small reminder and affirmation that even though I'm in a bad spot and again questioning why I put myself through this, there are moments that make it so so worthwhile.

Roofie

2009-08-04T00:33:00.003-06:00

We went to see The Hangover yesterday. Frankly I was a little bored.

We have secured a house and are just waiting for the inspection and financing before signing our lives away. Lots of stress here and some silly fighting. I hope it all gets dealt with soon.

Possession at the end of Sept.

There isn't much sleep going on here since the fabulous workshop that electrolucy pulled together, with one of the most generous and hilarious teachers out there, is over. :(

There is however a little more roof action which is great because, assuming all goes well with the house, I won't be able to monitor this saga for much longer.

12 hours

2009-07-20T08:09:00.007-06:00

or what missing a tornado by "only luck" might look like.

These first two are in sequential order. That lovely blue almost fooled us into thinking the storm had passed.

Here's where we closed the windows when the insane wind kicked up and the power started going on and off. With huge windows facing full west on a day of +30, we really really didn't want to close them. And then we left it just a bit late and when one started whistling because it wasn't quite closed, we were afraid to go near it.

B ran a 1/2 marathon the next morning so we were up bright and early at 7 to catch this view of our apartment's front lawn and one very lucky car owner.

This is on the road at the top of the valley.

This is the golf course driving range fence. Last seen here.

Down in the park where the race started. Branches everywhere and some still dropping in the wind.

After this finish, and some vegetables since they only had meat sausages for after the run, I went home and passed out. After trying to sleep through that insane storm and the heat all trapped in our apt. I felt like my body itself was battered by the storm.

Just for some perspective, this is what the sky looked like a week ago at the same time.

Stop motion fantastique

2009-07-13T09:33:00.000-06:00

holy crap this is so wonderful!

Last week in photos

2009-07-09T09:28:00.012-06:00

I'm just slightly addicted to the stitch feature of my new camera.

We spent Canada Day at the aptly named Canada Place.

Wandered around downtown where we were staying anyway.

We ended up in Van for a wedding on America Day. Straight out of a wedding magazine and oddly not pretentious. You know those photo shoots where you think "do people really do all of that and pay that much for it?" It turns out they do and it all feels just normal.

This is the second wedding I've been to recently where there was live singing at the ceremony. The first one was in a teeny tiny church and we all sang Ode to Joy together. It was insanely exhilarating. This one had a choir of teenagers, led by the bride's brother. They were fantastic and the acoustics were amazing.

The weather was so good, we were all thinking of moving there but knowing we could never stand the rain and grey that was hiding (apparently back home where it won't leave).

I had a great visit with my uncle and his wife, with a dear old friend and teacher and then we ended up at a fantastic show where other old friends were performing and one fantastic dancer that I'd never seen live. AND 3 amazing singers to boot.

There was a workshop starting the day we were leaving and I am still kicking myself that I didn't do better research before I went there. Consoling myself with the upcoming fantastic workshop that electrolucy is putting on (for which I created this poster).

And then we arrived back home to this waste of two days.

Soon to be another wasted day.

And this is the current view, alternating with torrential downpour and tornado warnings so I'm not itching to go outside either.

Tonight we are interviewing the first of 3 realtors so we can get this house finding done with. I'm oddly resistant to this entire process.

UPDATE: first realtor waiting at wrong place. off to a great start!

Why is it...

2009-06-30T10:12:00.004-06:00

...we often only learn of people and their genius after they have died and someone posts some kind of RIP status update?

...the death of a public person can make us re-watch important moments we experienced of them over and over

remember the buzz at school the day after?

...and seek out ones we can't believe we missed.

I mean really....

Desktops

2009-06-18T23:58:00.004-06:00

One of them is a mess. It's the end of the year and I just don't have the energy to care. Just need to get through the next 12 days and then off to the West Coast for a wedding and a much needed vacation.

Out my window

2009-06-03T12:25:00.006-06:00

Yesterday a few related things happened to me.

I had a student show up with the metronome he had told me about the week before. It was a confusing discussion at that last lesson as he tried to describe it to me and it wasn't making sense. I asked if it was the ticking kind with an arm that swings back and forth or the electronic beeping kind. Mine is the ticking kind and I pointed to it so it would be clear what I meant. He kept saying it was both. That it looked just like mine but it was the beeping kind. Since the swinging arm itself makes the tick and it is not electronic, this was super confusing to me. We couldn't clarify and were both obviously confused so I asked him to bring it this week so I could see what he meant.

Yesterday, he brought his 'metronome' out of his pocket. It was an ipod touch (how is it that a child can own such an expensive thing?) and the 'metronome' was a picture of my metronome complete with image of swinging arm and of course, electronic beeping sound. It blew my mind that in his mind the image of the metronome was not separate from the object itself. I mean that he couldn't articulate to me the week before that his object was in fact an ipod and the metronome was just an image of a real object metronome.

And then last night, I went to the train station and arrived just as a train did (no asshole driver to talk me down though) and I realized that the sound coming out of the flashing lights was a recording of bells (it skipped like a record near the end). I wonder when the recording of bells took over from actual bells on these types of crossings. I imagine it is cheaper and easier to do. and then it made me wonder 'why bother choosing bell sounds then?'. Is it because we associate bell sounds with these crossings and wouldn't understand if it was another sound? I find it alarming (punny!) that so much of what we now have in an electronic age is just mimicking the sound or image of a real thing. Why not create new sounds or images to reflect the new medium? and what the hell would those be anyway? It really freaks me out when a child cannot see the difference. Sort of like when they ask me how to turn the piano off or if when I ask them if they have a piano or a keyboard, they don't know what I mean even after I ask if theirs plugs in or not.

Another bizarre event.... I am reading A Memoir of Friendship (think you would enjoy this Suze) after reading A Celibate Season which someone left on the laundry room give away table. Memoir is a huge book of letters that Carol Shields and Blanche Howard, both writers, wrote to each other over decades. Through the writing of their own works and the joint work of Celibate Season. It's fascinating. The best part is they were constantly writing about books they were reading and recommending to each other and I now have a list of books to check out. Last night as I was reading, I suddenly wanted to remember the name of the book The Bone People, by Keri Hulme and I couldn't. All I could remember was that 'bone' was part of the title and that the writer was from New Zealand. About an hour later, just before putting the book aside to go to sleep, lo and behold Blanch recommends it to Carol in the book. One of those moments where I felt like I blinked into the universal mind for just a second and then had to pinch myself to see if it really happened.

Here's the sky 'stitched together' with another photo. One of those new technological advances through digital photography.

What kind of Lover?

2009-05-25T11:58:00.002-06:00

Almost at 0:15

or Part-Time at 0:55

is it me or are these basically the same thing?

Transcribing the first one today and ended up singing the second.

Downtown

2009-05-19T10:34:00.004-06:00

Originally uploaded by painteverything

These are two sides of one corner of a building that was structurally condemned for some unknown reason quite a few months ago and is now another downtown eyesore just sitting there boarded up. Too bad, because it had recently been converted from a rather unclean cheap hotel (I looked under the bed once when a friend was holed up there. eek!) into an international hostel and was the perfect location for one.

On the plus side it has invited more of this fabulous and removable "graffiti" that keeps popping up around town. I turn this corner almost daily. It makes me so happy.

Blue?

2009-05-16T11:19:00.003-06:00

Going to see this today. The tattoo photo is so stunning, especially when large and at a bus stop.

Also hopefully this. The artist was in grad school when I did my undergrad and I still remember her as the person I stood up, for a private crit of my work (such was most of University for me, due to my insane scattered brain from a full time job and full time school). She gave me another one after I apologized profusely, because she was able to be generous through he anger with me, and it was the most honest helpful crit I ever got to have. Thinking here of the prof that spent one full hour crit with me talking about his gem collection.

I had a really strange run in with a train driver who was arrogant, accusatory, self-righteous, and completely out of line. It was like I walked into his field of anger and he lashed out at whomever was there (me). It felt like I'd walked into some insanity because he made up a situation that didn't occur and then accused me of taking part in it......and of course my response was to try to resolve it, to try to clarify where the misunderstanding occurred. He just became more outrageous. Thank god he had to drive the train and leave me alone and I was left with a few days of arguing with him in my head and finally the realization that there is no resolving situations like these, there is only walking away from them. I complained to the transit authority and left it at that.

Fast forward to this week and I find myself in a similar situation with a student's parent. I am now being accused of not being there for her lesson, in fact this woman insists that the school was closed and locked, even though I was there 5 min. ahead of time and so were 3 other teachers and a family of students. Her response to me trying to clear up what might have happened was so rude and self-righteous and I might say, insane, that I'm at a total loss. I offered to make it up because clearly something went wrong and these things happen, but rather than realizing that I am being generous because she already wasted my time that day, she not only insists on it but continues to be unbelievably hostile. I told the school owner what happened and he decided to call her to make sure things were okay and she was just as rude and impossible to him. Asked him if she was accusing her of being a liar. To top it off she herself is meant to be one of my students next year. So I told him if this continues there is no way I'll teach her and thankfully he agreed. (I never know when he is going to back me up.)

Am thinking there's a lesson here for me about not having to please everyone and distancing myself from crazy-makers. Just allowing myself to not respond to their insane behaviour seems like a good start for me. There are a few others in my life that I keep trying to appease and keep naively trying to get along with. It takes so much energy and all it does is feed the imbalance and power struggle in the "relationship".

In other news, I've been working a lot with the brain lately. With cognitive, kinesthetic awareness and all sort of other things involving brain waves, hemispheres and focus of attention. here are some links.

Came across this today:

"You know it was very freeing to no longer be attached to whom she had been, whom I had been prior to the hemorrhage, because she was a very smart woman and she had quite a high pressure job and, you know, in the absence of being attached to who she had been and what she was doing, there was a sense of freedom and since I didn't have any of her memories or any of her knowledge or any of her attachment to relationships at the same time I wasn't attached to her emotional baggage...." (uhs and ums removed)

Neurological researcher Jill Bolte Taylor in an NPR interview about her stroke and the recovery from it. There was a video of a talk she gave making the rounds a while ago and I watched it and enjoyed. But somehow this grabbed me today when I listened.

Also another bit about language that I'm too lazy to go back and transcribe. Have come to realize that a major point of frustration in my life has always been the inability to grab language in my head and get it out of my mouth on the spot. I find it exhausting and often just state things in whatever way I can because the effort to find the best words is completely overwhelming. It's like they are so elusive in there and the more I look the harder they are to find. (If you know me at all, you know I often say some completely inappropriate things and then laugh them off like it's no big deal. What you might not know is I usually don't realize why they are inappropriate until days later once I've processed it. and that laughing it off is just a way of not making it all into a nightmare. Like how can these things come out of my mouth? Why does it take me so long to process them?)

It's a problem I ran into in school a lot if I was required to describe a concept in an exam. Concepts are often too broad for me to use specific language with without a long period of thought processing. I get the gist of them but I don't retain the language needed to describe them. For me it's okay to use language that suggests what I'm saying. This was definitely not okay in Social Studies class. I have recently run into a whole bunch of people who really don't feel it's okay and who think the lack of specific language implies a lack of knowledge or understanding. It's been an interesting test of self-worth and also in beginning to see the huge differences that exist between people (myself included) and what they feel is valid in the world. And what the hell does validity mean?

I came across the interview after listening to this Exclusive First Listen: Danger Mouse And Sparklehorse Team Up With David Lynch after reading a quick blurb about it on the BBC. This quote is what caught me. "All copies will be clearly labelled: 'For Legal Reasons, enclosed CD-R contains no music. Use it as you will.'" Unfortunately the music rather bores me, but will give it another listen before giving up on it.....

Spoke to soon

2009-05-13T10:33:00.004-06:00

it snowed again yesterday. It was raining when I left and I actually debated wearing the turtle neck that, thank god, I ended up wearing.

Go away snow! you have become a bore.

I'm up to my eyeballs in music prep, book covering, exam prep, class prep, and poster design. There is no show prep though so it all feels rather relaxed in a scattered sort of way.

B gave me a new camera for my birthday. YAY! I've discovered that I don't like to blog without having some kind of photo outlet.

Row, row, row your boat

2009-05-08T21:33:00.003-06:00

gently into Spring.

I guess this means the snow is finally gone.

Snow storm last night (again....)

2009-04-24T11:16:00.004-06:00

but it's all melted now.

There was a virtual tour of John Baker's novel Winged With Death at Never Neutral today. Click here to check it out.

I am loathe to post something new and relegate that fine tune to the archives but life must go on.

On Wed. I got to attend a class in a local music festival where my student was playing. I have never played in one myself. These things were always made out to be so elitist when I was a kid. The teachers I've talked to about it recently also felt that way when they were kids and it's really really unfortunate. I suspect it's really other kids that make them out this way. I can already hear it in my student talking about her other friend that keeps winning all these awards there.

What a great experience for a young musician! It's like a recital only with helpful comments at the end and only with kids playing under the same criteria such as age or level. (I seriously do not recommend putting a kid in there based on age. Invariably you will encounter some child wonder that will embarrass the rest of the kids by being about 3 levels ahead of them and potentially quash all their musical confidence in one fell swoop). My student was in the grade 5 classical piece category. There were a total of 8 performers and all their parents and some teachers in a room much like a hotel room. Grand piano in one corner, chairs all around the rest of the room, actual daylight coming through the windows!.....Each performer would get up announce their piece, play, then we would all wait as the adjudicator wrote comments and then on to the next one.

She read all of her comments out to each kid at the end of the whole thing and was unbelievably generous and positive about it. It really takes a lot of skill to go beyond just analyzing a performance and show some "bedside manner" with young students. Some of them were incredible players, such expression and sense of rhythm it was a bit shocking. Others almost fell apart at the piano when their nerves got the best of them. But you would never know that there was such a huge difference, she made each of them feel important and successful in some way. Out of 8, 3 kids played the same piece (one of them mine) and 2 played another one. So great to have the opportunity to hear how others interpret a piece and to hear what the adjudicator had to say about the differences.

I can't believe I never entered this as a kid. I can't believe I thought it was an elitist thing. I'm going to encourage so many of my students to enter this next year.

Tax time

2009-04-22T12:14:00.002-06:00

Sometimes good tunes help.

I'm off to see my student compete in a local festival!

Tax time

2009-04-22T12:14:00.000-06:00

Sometimes good tunes help.

I'm off to see my student compete in a local festival!

Secrets and Lies

2009-04-20T09:39:00.004-06:00

My camera went all funny shortly after I took this photo. Now if you aim it at anything bright, it decides to see white lines across the image. Unless it's video which doesn't seem to be a problem. I find this very annoying. I need my trusty camera. I don't have the time or energy to go find out what's wrong with it right now and B's solution, as with all similar problems, is to just give up on it and get a new one.

I'm finding myself surrounded by people I don't know how to trust. Getting to the point where I don't think I even trust myself, whatever that means. It's interesting that often the people who continually describe themselves as very sensitive, can be the most hurtful people without seeming to be aware of it. I know all too well how it is to be so caught up in my own little world that I don't even realize what awful things I'm saying and doing until much much later. Or maybe they are aware. Maybe because they feel so hurt by the entire world, they feel justified in being hurtful and somehow can't take responsibility for their own feelings.

Who can say what really motivates another person? What is really going on in their world? I really think no one can and so all you can do is not take it personally. My mom read me a quote once along the lines of "It's none of your business how another feels about you". Something about how everyone has a right to their own pain and misunderstandings and it's not up to you to fix them, or even worry about them, just about your own.

Lately when I'm feeling hurt by another, I just end up trying to flip what I see as their behaviour and looking for ways that it is actually mine. Over the years, I've been a player in so many of these roles. Many of them I've worked really hard at moving beyond. A few of them I hope I can say I will never go back to. A few of them sneak up on me and bite me in the ass every so often.

The one who turns everything you say into a personal affront against them.
The one who sees and imaginary ulterior motive behind everything you do.
The one who gossips about you because they feel powerless and don't know what else to do.
The one who stops communicating leaving you feeling punched in the gut. Making you wish you too had given up trying long ago.
The one who can't hear you because they are very sure they already know exactly where you are coming from.
The one who lies to you because they have decided what your reaction to the truth would be and they fool themselves into thinking they are protecting you or themselves.
The one who is secretly jealous of you and therefore secretly (or at least they think so) revels in your mistakes or humiliations.
The one who needs to believe the gossip from others and bands against you, feeling justified and righteous in judging you for something you have never done that they know nothing about.
The one who can only see their side and is so hurt that they feel justified in being incredibly hurtful back and expect that everyone around them will let them take the action they are taking.
The one who tells you exactly who (they've decided) you are, so they can assert who they are by explaining how they are different from you.

Imagine a play where these were the only characters! God it's exhausting just imagining it. It's like the Everyman of co-dependent behaviour.

It's not like I'm in some bad state right now or a bunch of this is going on. Just a little and in a few different areas of my life and so these are the roles I am tossing around in my head. Seeing how I've played these roles even if only a smaller version of some of them. Seeing that some of them, which I relegate to junior high, are actually still in some facet present in my life. Seeing that some are very foreign to me but are very familiar to others. Seeing how my natural reaction to some of them is to engage in the insanity.

There is a major duality in my life that I'm struggling really hard with and it's so big that I can't see it except from the side and only when I shift my brain focus so that it feels all spaced out. It has to do with putting yourself out there in whatever way and not knowing what to do about feeling attacked for it, versus hiding so much of yourself as protection and feeling constrained undervalued and depressed. I'm feeling like I flip back and forth between these so quickly sometimes that I get lost and overwhelmed or even angry. Some days I just want to sleep and others I just want to get on a plane and start life again somewhere else as a completely different person, with different abilities and interests. Since this is obviously a problem that would follow me, sleep is the pervading impulse.

In real world news, my aunt was diagnosed with lung cancer on Friday. She is refusing to tell one of her three sons because they have a long standing feud and have not spoken in a couple of years. I consider myself very close to all my cousins even if I don't see them very often. It's not our place to say anything nor to keep it from him and so we are all frozen in limbo, horrified at the situation. In a nutshell this explains the painful absurd responses inherent in my mom's nuclear family and makes me unbelievable grateful that she has come as far as she has, through a lot of personal work, to lessen these behaviours in herself.

We watched this on the weekend. I recommend it. Have you seen this? I saw it at the theatre with B's sister a long time ago. It seems oddly relevant.

My Space!

2009-04-10T09:34:00.004-06:00

Found this on my FB feed and it has made my day. Likely made my week and all classes from now on.

Pardon me boy.....

2009-04-08T10:07:00.009-06:00

I took the train out to the mountains with B and his parents to visit his sister and the 2 best nephews around. It was Spring break (whooo! Okay, Spring break just isn't like that up here but I've been re-watching AD). I have to remember next year to say a firm "no" to family vacations on Spring break. I really really need the time off by that point. It was great and relaxing and just slightly stressful in that way that family vacations are (especially when it's not your side of the family I guess). Two days to recover and catch up on things before returning to insanity was just not enough.

Anyway, let's talk about the train.

It's the same train that goes to yellowbird, just the other way. There's only one route across the country at this point and since the privatization of the rail lines, all freight takes precedence, and so your train could be many many hours late. As it was, I was suffering from insomnia and so got up at 3:30am and then just stayed up because we had to be at the station at 6:30 to check our bags.

The train was late, finally arriving at 9:30, giving us plenty of time to watch the terrible Anne of Green Gables cartoon, and one of those life after death after-school-special type shows (All on Regina tv for some reason). We were also treated to free doughnuts and coffee and yummy red rose tea. Also a woman who filed her nails for so long, that B finally asked me if a lot of people do this and if it was a nervous tick or something. I think he was asking hoping she would hear him and so I overcompensated as usual by speculating why someone might need to do that to really do it the right way, or some such nonsense. The small joys of traveling with family had already begun in the car, parking the car, at the baggage thing and so on.....but overall it was pretty easy to travel together. Most of us quite able to keep to ourselves.

I brought a massive book to read, which I hardly touched until the ride home, and B brought a small paperback on the environment and took extensive notes while reading it. I thought it was for work but it turns out he has decided to take notes while reading from now on because he forgets things and has to look them up again later in the book. I wish I could be so disciplined! This is the type of thing I would start and then give up because it felt too restraining.

Honestly, this is something I've started a billion times. I keep finding notes on books in notebooks filled with notes on cooking and teaching and whatever else I'm studying at the moment all mixed in with some journalling. All I can think when I find these notebooks is that, were I to die suddenly, whoever has to go through all my crap is going to think I had a serious mental disorder.

B and I had lunch on the train. The same lunch I had on the way out east and have been craving ever since. Wild mushroom filled ravioli. I love the dining cars on these things. They somehow evoke everything old and federally funded but in a really good way. Reminds me of my great aunts. Makes me feel so civilized. I love the colours and especially the ceiling cloud job (which B hated), and the etched glass tributes to birds.

Also these crazy chairs.....

I want to sit here for a long time

2009-04-06T00:03:00.004-06:00

In my quest to return to blogging after what feels like a nightmarish few months, I've decided to update more frequently with smaller posts of all the excitement that has gone on in the past week or so.

For instance, just tonight, I watched two police situations from my window. Down the street appears to be a car pulled over for speeding? drugs? who knows. Unrelated and directly across the street, they called in the fire department to shine their super bright lights on the apt (of roof saga fame), spread some liquid all over the sidewalk, sprinkle powder on that and then sweep it back and forth until they were satisfied. Four firemen spreading, sprinkling, sweeping and eventually shoveling into a plastic bag.....and two policemen watching on the sidelines.

I've watched too much Arrested Development and spent the better part of the post-teaching afternoon reading. Too many good books to discuss today.

It is Spring!

2009-03-23T12:46:00.009-06:00

The show is over, daily rehearsals are done, the poster is done, the workshop is done, the nightmare highway trip is done......just one more week of teaching and then I get a few days off.

The show went well. A bit of a blur really. One major regret but these things are all minor I'm learning, so I will let it go. Great to perform with old friends, good energy, and no politics. My parents, B's parents, some of their friends and even Spanglish's aunt came, which was so nice.

A major snowstorm blew in during the show. I forgot how heavy and wet and ample the snow in Cowtown can get. Crazy. Trying to drive out of downtown the next day was like swimming. The highway was a disaster for at least 3/4 of the way. We were driving between 75 and 85 on a 110 (okay let's be realistic, 130km/hour) highway. A tense 4.5 hours later, we made it and passed out in the living room from the stress.

I'm sick. Of course. and I don't even care because my stress just dropped about 200%. Here are some photos from the rehearsal for the performance in an old church that I used to live 5 doors down from. It's now used by the local Opera company for rehearsal and small shows. Stunning stunning building. Just doing the dress rehearsal there in the afternoon light turned this into a most incredible experience.

Questions of the week.

2009-03-17T09:12:00.002-06:00

How do you turn off the piano? from a 10 year old boy addicted to Grand Theft Auto on his psp.

You mean those things that look like sushi? from another 10 year old boy who was looking in the piano for the dampers as I showed him how the damper pedal works.

Enough already

2009-03-10T08:55:00.003-06:00

My sidebar weather indicator says -41. It turns out that's not quite right thank goodness but it is -39 with the windchill. I know that harping on the weather is not that exciting to read about and I know I do it often but -39? really? What is this the third week of this this winter?

I'm in what I hope is the last two weeks of what has been a spring of insanity. It actually just feels like a continuation of a fall of insanity. I just need to get through these two weeks with some kind of courage, conviction and a lot of hard work so that I don't despise myself at the end of it all.

It is insanely hard to walk out that door for a 45 min. trip to the studio this morning. I have another 15 min to debate with myself if it's worth it or if I will just end up exhausted and depressed and waste the time. Perhaps it is another living room tiptoe practise day.

C'mon spring! I think I speak for many when I say we need you, we miss you, we've already sprung our clocks ahead in anticipation.

Mountain wedding

2009-03-02T14:16:00.006-07:00

The Inn with the Three Sisters in the background.

The deep crystal clear Bow.

Stunning bird on her way to the altar.

Phew!

2009-02-24T11:48:00.004-07:00

Here it is, the poster that has almost driven me over the edge. Sans text of course which actually makes the poster but I'll let you imagine. I hesitate to say that it's done because there are some printing issues that we are having trouble resolving long distance. It's time I learn how to minimize colour issues with printing so I can stop going through this. Normally I would adjust based on the print out but I can't do that this time because I'm in a different city and so there's a lot of back and forth. Thank god I was down south on the weekend and could see it and say, no! no! no! not that horrible excuse for a pastel red. Unfortunately I have no idea from our new test, if this red will print the way I want it but it's out of my hands now.

Other things that have been happening?

I went to a debutante ball. One of my former students turned 18. Totally not something I have ever heard of in this country but it seems in certain cultures it is a huge tradition. I went with B and sat with another student. About 300 guests, god knows how many performances but more than 10, 4 formal ball gowns worn by the bride, I mean birthday girl......I kept thinking that I was at a wedding, a choreographed waltz, okay wait more like 5 choreographed dances, 7 girls in matching ball gowns with long white gloves and 7 boys in tuxes to match. A lot of video/powerpoint presentations some involving anime. I'm so glad this is not tradition in my family as at 18 I think I would have had a meltdown if I had to go through it. She seemed very happy though and once we recovered from the absurdity of it all it was really great to be there. Utterly fascinating, we talked about it for the entire week following.

I went to a junior high and taught the basics of a certain art form. They are off to Spain in a month and wanted to learn a bit of the dance. 30 boys and girls aged 14. Super super fun! I was really nervous because that can be such an awkward age but in the end I had a blast. Was standing on the desks in a portable singing at the top of my lungs while half of them clapped the rhythm and the other half danced. It was two separate days and both times I left there completely exhilarated.

I was down south for a rehearsal for the show I'm in in a month. I caught a sinus infection right before going. This sounds ridiculous but I swear it's the cause.....cereal went up my nose by accident when I inhaled while eating it. Then I wouldn't come out and got infected and now I have a sort of cold as my body tries to get the thing out. Rehearsal was great, they have a great space in a loft of an auto shop. Someone was there taking photos and the contrast of the space, mirrors, lighting and warehouse was fantastic. I'm really looking forward to this show. I'm performing with a bunch of old friends and the energy is great.

In just 3 days I am off to yellowbird's wedding. Can't wait!

Friday the 13th

2009-02-13T10:19:00.005-07:00

and I'm scared to look at the to-do list on my sidebar.

Happy Birthday (friend who knows I mean them)!!

Current view.

Last night I pulled out the sewing machine to fix a duvet cover and my coat pockets and to sew this happy little camera bag out of a glove. All of the above making me absurdly happy.

Click here for the horrible surprise when I opened my pasta package on Wed. The one that I bought when I was starving on the way home from work. The one that was making my mouth water in anticipation as I opened it. (don't click there if you don't want to be grossed out)

Fire on the horizon last week.

Auugghhh

2009-02-06T10:50:00.004-07:00

What have I been doing lately?

I have been listening to this:
(I hope this will be playing at your wedding yellowbird!)

and this:

and this:

and transcribing this for a student

all whilst creating a poster for a show a friend is bringing (more on that when she posts it), hating my computer and phone, running for the bus, fielding requests to do more and more teaching, and all the usual things I do in my "regular" life.

Also reading this. Which is utterly fantastic.

Revisiting

2009-01-28T07:45:00.003-07:00

you may remember him from here. I have stopped breathing momentarily. Hoping not to recover soon.

Una Estrella Chiquitita

2009-01-27T10:49:00.007-07:00

Taken from Anniemcq

1. Put your MP3/Ipod player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS

WHAT’S THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
"Corazón Loco" - (Bebo Valdés and Diego El Cigala)

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
"Man Smart (Woman Smarter)" - (Harry Belafonte)
....Ha! Every time I hear this song, I can't stop dancing.

WHAT WILL OPRAH’S NEXT SHOW BE CALLED?
"I Do Adore Her" - (Harry Belafonte)

WHAT WILL OBAMA’S FIRST EXECUTIVE ORDER BE?
"Como Castillo de Arena (Bulerías)" - (Camarón de la Isla and Paco de Lucía)
...hmmmn Castles in the sand or I will force you to learn Bulerías?

IF SOMEONE SAYS “FUCK YOU!” YOU SAY:
"Star-O" - (Harry Belafonte)
....or sing it!

IF YOU COULD SAY ONE THING TO THE PERSON YOU LOVE, IT WOULD BE?
"Flor de Azalea" - (Trio Los Panchos)

IF YOU COULD SAY ONE THING TO THE PERSON YOU HATE IT WOULD BE?
"A Los Santos del Cielo (Seguiriyas de la Cherna y Los Puertos)" - (Camarón de la Isla and Paco de Lucía)

WHAT WOULD YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY BE CALLED?
"Bye Bye Blackbird" - (Miles Davis)

WHAT IS LOVE?
"Donde Se Divisa el Mar (Taranto)" - (Camarón de la Isla and Paco de Lucía)

WHAT IS HATE?
"Sealion" - (Feist)

WHAT IS YOUR BEST TRAIT?
"Mar y Cielo" - (Trio Los Panchos)

WHAT IS YOUR WORST TRAIT?
"Lagrimas de Amor" - (Trio Los Panchos)

WHERE WILL YOU BE IN FIVE YEARS TIME?
"Come back Liza" - (Harry Belafonte)

HOW DO YOUR FRIENDS DESCRIBE YOU?
"Con la Varita en la Mano (Fandangos de Juan el de la Vara)" - (Camarón de la Isla and Paco de Lucía)

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR YOU?
"Cada Vez Que Nos Miramos (Soleá de la Serneta)" - (Camarón de la Isla and Paco de Lucía)

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Niebla del Riachuelo" - (Bebo Valdés and Diego El Cigala)

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOUR LOVER WOULD WHISPER IN YOUR EAR?
"Samara (Bulerías)" - (Camarón de la Isla and Paco de Lucía)

WHAT WILL SAVE THE WORLD?
"Y Mira Que Mira y Mira (Tangos)" - (Camarón de la Isla and Paco de Lucía)

WHAT IS SEXY?
"Remote Climbs (The Pastels)" - (Cinema Remix)

WHAT IS FUNNY?
"Leaving This Island (The Pastels)" - (Jim O'Rourke remix)

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST STRENGTH?
"Eu Sei Que Vou Te Amar" - (Bebo Valdés and Diego El Cigala)

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS?
"Rayito de Luna" - (Trio Los Panchos)

WHAT DO YOU DREAM ABOUT?
"En un Piedra Me Acoste (Fandangos de El Rubio)" - (Camarón de la Isla and Paco de Lucía)

WHAT GIVES YOU NIGHTMARES?
"Rough Riders (The Pastels)" - (Make Up Featuring Mighty Flashlight)

WILL YOU EVER FIND ‘THE ONE’?
"The Limit to Your Love" - (Feist)

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?
"Veinte Años" - (Bebo Valdés and Diego El Cigala)

WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
"One Wild Moment (The Pastels)" - (Stereolab Remix)

WHAT’S THE STUPIDEST THING IN THE WORLD?
"1234" - (Feist)
.......and the best outfit you've ever seen

WHAT DO PEOPLE LOVE ABOUT YOU?
"Bolero" - (Chucho Valdés)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS
"Una Estrella Chiquitita (Bulerías)" - (Camarón de la Isla and Paco de Lucía)

Musical journey

2009-01-23T12:23:00.005-07:00

Proving that once again, all things lead back to the best scene in West Side Story and the best dance scene ever.

keep on movin'

2009-01-19T06:32:00.004-07:00

I actually have quite a few requests to learn this bass line on the piano.

I first heard this song when Yellowbird, at the very beginning of our fabulous friendship, made me a couple of mix tapes for xmas in 1989 including the version below. I still have them.

Anthony Kiedis has always reminded me of our mutual friend that passed away almost 2 years ago. I find myself thinking of him quite often and it surprises me. A person I felt really close to, from that time when I discovered real family and love and friendship (as A put it over xmas, "you don't understand, these people were my family not just a great group of friends from some time period in my life"). And that explains it. I certainly can't explain it to anyone who knew him without them looking down on me like I must be delusional. There's no way I had such a strong connection with him when we hardly hung out and I was not remotely in his circle of friends or even in the same 'group' of society. We didn't have much in common in terms of real life. Whenever we did hang out just the two of us, it was after running into each other randomly. It just never made sense to say hi and walk away so we would sit and chat or change our paths so we could walk together. It was his birthday last week. I came across that randomly, birthdays were not part of our rapport. I miss him and don't, I didn't really know him and sometimes he was really hard to be around. Sometimes he judged me the harshest of anyone I know. Sometimes we were just awkward with each other and yet, there was always that connection and underlying extreme love and I miss that.

Incidentally Yellowbird is getting married next month. yay! I'm thinking of giving her the keytar I just got for xmas as a joke gift from Santa. It's a slighly smaller version of the one in this video. Except the neck is just straight and has a variable pitch dial on the end so you can do a bit of blues slide with it. Also the demo song is Wham! Last Christmas.....I'll never get that song out of my head. Too bad you're not getting married at xmas Yellow, that could be the first dance solution!

Somehow this doesn't quite fit

2009-01-18T23:37:00.002-07:00

You Are a Comma

You are open minded and extremely optimistic.

You enjoy almost all facets of life. You can find the good in almost anything.

You keep yourself busy with tons of friends, activities, and interests.

You find it hard to turn down an opportunity, even if you are pressed for time.

Your friends find you fascinating, charming, and easy to talk to.

(But with so many competing interests, you friends do feel like you hardly have time for them.)

You excel in: Inspiring people

You get along best with: The Question Mark

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

I think it's that 'fascinating, charming, and easy to talk to' thing. I'm a lazy lazy conversationalist and rarely talk about my real interests or life unless asked. An unfortunate tendancy to gossip and/or complain which I can hardly call fascinating!

Lately....

2009-01-13T23:20:00.002-07:00

Is it me or are all of my photos basically of the same thing?

I'm no longer reading that last book about Raven. Now I'm on to The Holographic Universe, which is not the dry read I remember it starting out as. Also one of those Stuart McLean books that my sister loaned me. I love his stories and his voice if I catch him telling them on the weekend but man alive he has some bad taste in musical and other entertainment to fill out his radio show.

The initial organization of the New Year has gone by the wayside and I'm now randomly dabbling in the 300 things I have the need to work through.

We went to the Provincial museum this weekend for 3 exhibits and of course to the exotic insect room and the best dioramas in the world.

The 3 exhibits were:

Heights of Fashion: A History of the Elevated Foot - "This exhibition of daring footwear from the Bata Shoe Museum features some of the most treasured and spectacular shoes from their collections, following the rise and fall of the high heel in Western fashion."

Among the other visitors are an artsy woman taking high quality photos accompanied by a child who keeps asking silly questions and a man who sings along rather loudly with the strange mix of 'shoe' music that is blaring in the background(generally of the 70's/80's era). There is also a know-it-all man who loudly proclaims the most banal information as he stops with a woman at each little shoe display (he will also show up in the dioramas later, but that's okay because nothing can make you leave the diorama area until you are ready). The shoes are fantastic making it all worthwhile. Either the music or the people will drive you out before you're ready to go. It is a very small room.

Arte en la Charrería - "Arte en la Charrería contains more than 120 examples of the excellent craftsmanship and design distinctive to the Mexican cowboy. With leather work, costumes, textiles, silver and iron work as well as works on paper that illustrate the life of the charro,"

This is quite a stunning display of saddles and clothing and a sweet little watercolour set illustrating rodeo scenes. It is off in a corner where few seem to know it is. Here you may also meet a teenaged boy and girl hanging around in their 'punk' clothes desperately wanting your attention, leading them to skip around and giggle and then make out whilst checking to see if you are paying attention.

Arpillera - "At first glance, these bright textiles look like joyful representations of life in Chile. The colourful fabrics and embroidery suggest holiday souvenirs. However, if you look closely, these images are evidence of a much darker side of Chilean life. They are among the thousands of arpilleras (appliqued textiles of Latin America) made by women whose family members had disappeared under General Pinochet’s government."

This is on a long wall in the main foyer and you might miss it if you're not paying attention. Pay attention. It's worth it. The juxtaposition of these lovely colourful textiles with the themes they are presenting does something to you.

Incidentally the museum has a virtual collection where you can zoom around a 3D image of objects in their collection (like a barn owl? yes exactly!)

Monday is soon right?

2009-01-03T09:51:00.004-07:00

As soon as the snipe takes to the air, it performs a series of quick zig-zags - and evasive maneuver designed to confuse predators. Because of this habit, snipes were among the most difficult birds to shoot and skilled sportsmen were known as 'snipers' - a term later adopted by the military.

from Lone Pine's "Birds of Alberta", such a useful resource that at one point we owned two of them.

Why am I reading about snipe? Well, that's because I'm actually reading Dzelarhons by Anne Cameron which begins with the story 'Raven and Snipe'. It's one of the many books in my stack of books I promised myself I would read before the end of 2008 or would give them away. I didn't read a single one and they are now stacked a little more prominently in the living room. A nice reminder of how resolutions sometimes don't work out.

Glad I still have this one. Over the summer when we were out on the island, I ended up buying a bunch of children's books by her even though my nephew is still too young for them. I think I might have bought them for myself, the illustrations are divine.

Since it's a lovely -30 before windchill today, I don't think I'll be going out. B, on the other hand, has decided this is the day to go to the mall from hell. He's there now, tried to convince me to go too. I wonder if it will be busier because of the weather.....who on earth wants to go shopping right after Christmas? Who wants to venture out in this? Not I said the cat.

We went out on New Year's Day for a walk and just about died. Very slight wind and what a difference it makes at these temperatures. B's comment on arrival home was something to the effect of how scary it is when you feel your metabolism go into over-drive in some sort of survival mode response.

Last year's list repeated

2008-12-31T11:41:00.003-07:00

The rules:

The categories:
Things you learned this year
People you met
Things you don't want to take with you into 2008
Things you want to hold close as you pass into 2008
Things you're looking forward to in 2008
Things that were life changing in 2008
Things you hope to accomplish by the end of 2009

Now you can either give two answers for each category OR you can choose two from that list and give seven answers. No tags... if you like doing me-mes or have writer's block, go for it.

Things I learned this year

1. When working with a group of people towards a creative project, it is super important to communicate continually or a lot of heartache can result.
2. There are some people that I may never really get along with, no matter how much we both try.

People you met

1. Ernesto!!! and I'm still upset that I was very sick and a little hungover.
2. My new nephew who has the most incredible ability to smile constantly.

Things you don't want to take with you into 2009

1. alcohol, again....we'll see how that goes.
2. the propensity to hoard the smallest piece of paper, lest it look good in a collage. (Of course if it does work out in a collage, that's okay.)

Things you want to hold close as you pass into 2009

1. friends, all of them
2. family, all of them

Things you're looking forward to in 2009

1. owning a house, it MUST happen this year
2. owning a piano, see number 1

Things that were life changing in 2008

1. being involved in a performance where I was as prepared as I could have been due to insane amounts of practise, and therefore able to enjoy myself.
2. being involved in a performance largely based in the spirit of community and mutual respect and support.

Things you hope to accomplish by the end of 2009

1. moving into a living space that actually accommodates all the things I do
2. seriously need to find a way to stop the negative talk.

Happy Solstice!

2008-12-21T11:16:00.002-07:00

hopefully you have different weather than we do

(unless you like taking continual photos of strange frozen air effects, in which case, please do post them)

Turning the corner

2008-12-19T13:53:00.001-07:00

Some days, when you're late for the bus, you still have to stop and take that shot. Some days, you are so busy running that when you turn the corner and see this you suck in your breath really fast and forget all about your hurry as you snap back to the present. Some days, when it's -28, sucking in your breath like that can really really hurt.

Thankfully, beauty like this can heal many things.

More student gifts

2008-12-18T11:08:00.003-07:00

This is from my Korean student. They give the loveliest gifts. Fans and bookmarks and this one's a bracelet. Even the wrapping is always fantastic.

If only certain students would give the gift of preparing themselves for their lesson. or at the very least, not giving me attitude when they are unprepared and I make them do it anyway. That would be quite the gift. One might even call it a Christmas miracle.

Odourific!

2008-12-17T09:32:00.003-07:00

I have to admit, after having a hiatus from here, it's been hard to come back. The real reason is the lovely virus I got onto my USB drive at the local print shop. It meant we had to wipe our computer clean and find the time to do so, which was last weekend. Now all my files are on an external hard drive and some days I'm just too lazy to turn around and grab it to plug it in to this side of the room.

Otherwise there would be photos galore.

On the plus side, the virus is gone and my files are backed up and the mess that is my piles of files is contained on a hard drive that I can physically hold in my hand. No less messy but somehow being able to pick the object up makes it better.

The photo above is of a gift from a student. Usually I get piles of chocolate, usually good stuff and only sometimes the dreaded Pot of Barf (gold? I think not). I still have chocolate in my freezer from last year. Good chocolate too but, really, how much can one person take?

There are trends in teacher gift giving. For years it was soap from the Body Shop. Just their boring standard soap but kids liked it because it was colourful. I hate their soap, it always turns into mush. Then there's always a few years of candles or coffee mugs or coffee shop gift cards. As a music teacher you can just imagine how many musical items I receive, usually with the musical symbols incorrectly presented (why why why, do things like this exist? Is it to confuse children into thinking notes can be drawn backwards and the treble clef is an excellent substitute for an "S" or an "F" as opposed to the "G" that it is???).

The latest trend is boxes of divine smelling soap as pictured above. I can't get enough of it. All of my clothes smell like lovely flowers or subtle fruits. It's heaven. I hope this lasts.

I mean "Lotus Mint", "Cherry Blossom", "Honeysuckle", "Cucumber and Melon"?

Yes Please!

che bella la luna

2008-12-12T12:18:00.003-07:00

Here's hoping it's not a cloudy night tonight.
Yesterday morning at 6:30 was fantastic.

Made it!

2008-12-05T22:17:00.001-07:00

Survived.

Had a blast actually.

Spent the week wondering where I am and what time it is but in a good way not in the way it's been for two months which was more of a "crap am I late? did I forget something?shit! I haven't eaten yet."

From the perfectly new tiled floor in the lobby, to the crap unfinished paint job on the wall, to the amazing petrov grand, to the chairs we borrowed for our performance last weekend, to the lack of activity in this shot......this is my seat and it's place in the world for 5 to 6 hours every night. The seat where I accidentally made a girl cry over clapping a rhythm a few weeks ago. Sob, I mean, and then not recover her breath until the end of the lesson 45 min. later. The perfect end to a perfectly brutal day.

Tonight she greeted me with a huge smile and just a small bit of apprehension when the clapping portion began.

basically my new identity is gratitude, joy and relief personified.

missed you guys. glad to be back

Too much? not enough?

2008-11-19T09:10:00.004-07:00

Lest you think I've given up blogging, rest assured it is not the case. It's been a fall of overwhelming stress and complete lack of down time. I'll give you my secret recipe:

Combine a bit of computer virus, lots of personal misunderstandings, a bit of student crying, a little more travel time than you actually have time for, poster creating, poster posting, rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal, non practicers taking exams.....you're getting close. Leave early and come home late, no time to make food so you'd better buy something. No time to think about that so it's likely going to be from the convenience store next to work. Make sure you remove snow and cold so that you get really confused about what time of day it is and what month (but don't complain because it's lovely spring like weather) and also remove house hunting because that is likely to drive you right over the edge and possibly give your husband a meltdown as well. The picture is getting clearer. Now just add the fact that you are 15 min. late because of writing this and I think we're on the same page. Maybe, my vision is a little cloudy on the matter.

Snow returns

2008-11-11T23:00:00.002-07:00

and this time with such grace, I was 30 min late for rehearsal just taking photos and enjoying that soft silence that comes with fresh snow.

Guest room ready, I hope I didn't imply you weren't welcome before. *blush*
I must say you made a stunning entrance.

As promised

2008-11-08T22:54:00.008-07:00

I know! even the sky agrees this was a fabulous day. Much shopping, errand running and nothing to do with all the other stuff (read "crap" and also "non-crap stress") that has taken over my life of late. A seriously successful day.

It seems all I take photos of lately is the sky and the sun. It's been insanely warm. Is it really November? I don't even know what the time/day/season is any more. Now that we've had the time change and still only 5 min. of snow. I mean really, it's after Halloween, my internal 'time of day' meter is completely lost right now.

Some guy is walking across the country for the homeless. No news on how that will help but it is the latest news in my living room. Oh wait, national journalist released.

I hate the news, I really don't hate it. I don't understand what it's role is supposed to be. It doesn't speak to me and that speaks to me. More often than not I am rolling my eyes at the patronizing tone and the way the news is fed to me.

I can't tell you how happy I am that the US election is over. But now, can we please stop reading about the miracle that has occurred? It's not even our damn country, can we move on? Can people please stop asking me what I think about it?

It's not really about who won for me. It's about how frightening it is to see people get so hyped up about hopes and dreams to the point of delusion and almost mob like behaviour.

Is balance really such an impossible idea? Is everyone really so sure that blind belief in "good" is some kind of positive thing? Is it not just another way of seeing everything in the world through duality and therefore classifying something else as evil? Does one really not feed the other?

Why is it so scary every time there's an election down there? Everything suddenly becomes so polar. I can't imagine ever approaching politics in that way. I can't imagine ever approaching life in that way. People seem so beyond themselves when they talk about it. I find it really really disconcerting and utterly confusing.

And now, up here, it's like a badge of honour to say you supported the winner. Do any of these people know of all the policies behind either candidate? Do they really know how either would affect their own country? Because it reads more like a power trip statement of knowing and loving the underground movement of the moment (which is so completely not underground that the whole concept is absurd). When one of my co-workers asked me how I felt about the outcome, it felt like he might as well have asked me if I knew what the new secret brand of his jeans were (and I actually have a co-worker that asks that jeans question too!).

The every day is full of small miracles. Why do people over-glorify the bigger ones? It just sets things up for a big let down. The way I see it, small miracles are actually the bigger and more important ones.

A visit

2008-10-26T08:16:00.005-06:00

The Wind has been making herself known for some time now. Apparently to no effect so yesterday she ramped it up to new levels AND brought dear Snow for a very very brief 10 min. visit. What an entrance! Spectacular to watch and at times painful to be outside. And now they've both left but I can see we've been warned.

Other images within the hour of Snow's visit:

Some major inspiration here and here from a performer and teacher that came through in September.

And just one of the many reasons I haven't had time to blog lately.

Dear Sun,

2008-10-22T10:25:00.002-06:00

thank you

Because all video should be taken sideways

2008-10-21T08:57:00.007-06:00

and after waiting 10 min in the rain for the clock to hit the hour, you should turn off your camera and say, "hey where are the chimes" when it takes too long for them to ring.

if you're lucky, the person you have made stand there with you will laugh at your impatience and this will all make you smile a few weeks later when you open it up and remember.

It's election day

2008-10-14T10:16:00.002-06:00

YAY!

and it will all be over by tonight and I can get on with the hundred other things I'm thinking about. I'm one of those vote from the heart people. Strategic voting and vote swapping just make me really depressed.

Conveniently this web-site has told me my best choice is to vote from the heart since there's little chance of shaking things up anyway.

The idea of "anyone but" just isn't in my nature. I'm more of a "this is what I believe in" person.

Just saw

2008-10-13T00:53:00.002-06:00

this

and it was so worth it. Empty theatre of 10 viewers. For once no air conditioning. good times all 'round

Sychronicity

2008-10-11T14:35:00.004-06:00

posted by ernesto

posted by suttonhoo

I might just add that it is the joy I find in all this Obama artiness and hype that also sets off tiny alarm bells in my body when I think of his election campaign. I can't wait until it's over, the suspense is just too long. Get on with it already.

As for the one up here. Who cares? As one friend aptly put it, "it's not like there are any viable choices". So I'll vote as I usually do and assume that it will not matter in the least (excepting that I cherish my right to do so and will be badgering all of my 18-20 year old students to exercise that right).

linked to by Dave

Cumbia Cumbia! I can never get enough of you.

Really?

2008-10-11T08:02:00.003-06:00

What do you mean it's -10? My body does not understand. And that had better be some thick frost out there on those rooftops and not snow. My guest room is not ready yet.

I'm working all the time right now, trying to make up for the trip. Things are so bizarrely hectic in my brain that I actually completely forgot I was to have a new student and booked someone for an extra lesson in her first lesson and then argued with my boss that he really didn't tell me. Thankfully both students were adults and it was not a problem, just embarrassing. and then I realized half-way through the lesson that in fact we had discussed it many times and even the day before I left.

15 whole minutes of being sure my memory was flawless. These are the things I usually have nightmares about, forgetting lessons, double-booking students, having no recollection of scheduling that was discussed at length.....this has not happened to me in well over a decade. When I was in University, I was teaching full time at the same time and these things would happen to me all the time. It is the worst feeling to forget what you've set up and to mix people and times up. I have no idea how I managed to do both things back then, I can just manage teaching full time as it is now.

One of the many reasons I don't own a car now is that, at that time, I drove to students' houses as well. It was a terrible state to be in on a daily basis and be driving too. Nothing like rush hour traffic when you're already late for a 30 min lesson in which every min. is money to the parent. And then add snow or something.....enough I'm getting stressed just writing about it.

Now all I have to do is worry about catching the bus in time. The stress is daily, since I'm always running late, but at least it only lasts about 10 min. and then I can mentally relax and think about things like:

the differences between the Tube and the LRT.

the Tube is tiny, so crammed there is just enough room to stand in the aisle between opposing seated people.

the LRT is monstrous. two people can comfortably stand across each other in a similar aisle AND someone could pass between them without too much fuss, just a bit of leaning

the Tube comes all the time. I can't believe you can just go down there and within minutes another one shows up.

the LRT comes every 15 min. and sometimes that means it's faster to walk 45 min because the bus connection will be better

the Tube and the stations are boiling hot. uncomfortably so, especially when it's so tiny and worse when it's packed to the brim

the LRT is only remotely warm when packed with football/hockey fans. The stations are freeeeeeezing, especially in winter

the Tube gets you all over the city, including of course the airport

the LRT is almost useless in that it goes from basically the centre of the city to the NE. If it ever makes it south to the airport I will consider it a small miracle

on the Tube, people read their daily wasteful newspapers and leave them behind. Others will pick up left ones and read them and then leave them there as well.

on the LRT there are wasted dailies everywhere and people rarely will touch one left behind. Is it because it seems so dirty? Instead they bring another one on and leave it behind too.

In the mail yesterday

2008-10-08T12:03:00.003-06:00

Oh good!

2008-10-08T09:35:00.001-06:00

now I can teach this song 20 more times this year and find it enjoyable.

Following me

2008-10-07T09:04:00.003-06:00

Ventana derives from the Latin word for wind, ventus. English window has a similar connection with the wind. It derives from the Scandinavian word vindauga, a combination of vindr ‘wind’ and auga ‘eye’. So a window is, literally, the eye through which the wind enters.

via spanish word of the day

A strange combination of here and there

2008-10-05T11:11:00.003-06:00

I don't have a camera at the moment but I do have a foggy view and therefore this tune is trapped in my ohrwurm loop. why didn't anyone upload the Fred Astaire version? Has the entire world gone mad?

Stay Gold

2008-10-04T12:44:00.002-06:00

Air Canada let me watch this on the way home yesterday. I didn't realize how well I know this movie. I forgot that that's where I first heard the Robert Frost poem

that I later inscribed on a card to one major junior high crush. He was a skater and did not even know who I was. But my best friend at the time, who passed away last year, was kind enough to express that he wished he had received it.

that also saved my butt in the biggest way when I didn't study for my first year full term english exam and realized I couldn't remember a single poem we had read.

How is it I remember half the lines in this movie? When did I watch it so many times? How come I don't remember watching it before I met yellowbird but now know that I must have because of said junior high incident?

I hope there are still many many more things that I've forgotten about like this. Or that I remember in one way and when I re-experience them realize my memory is cloudy. Things that can take me back to a moment of being in such a visceral way that I actually can remember who I was at that time and exactly how it felt to be "me".

But not too many at once please: there's only so much melancholy one can handle at one time and especially when sick and journeying from a far away place.

Currently watching Grand Theft Auto

2008-10-02T15:02:00.003-06:00

and I'm sick

and I'm pissed off that I'm sick

and I need to pack

whine whine whine

Today B and I finally met Ernesto. Yay! We were very hungover so we met for beer in a fantastic pub. It was all fantastic actually, great conversation abounds. so cool to finally meet. way too little time in a weird way like we need to meet many many times.

And then here and only enough time for this photo. I'm such a tourist sometimes.

and then coffee with an old friend from Cowtown. Excellent excellent friend day.

And here's a slap in the face from the weather office. All I want is a hot bath and a chisel to gouge out my swollen neck glands. Instead I think I'll take a flight.

From Sardinia to London

2008-09-29T04:38:00.004-06:00

My current view:

Views of the last few days:

On the subject of 9 year old girls

2008-09-16T12:49:00.002-06:00

who play the piano, and what one of them will be working on today.

By request and sans videos which in this case might be both a good and a bad thing, depending on your perspective.

Pic-a pop at The Pop Shoppe

2008-09-11T10:23:00.004-06:00

I can't tell you how much this image relates to most of my artwork in the last decade. Or why really. Every time I take an airplane, I think that must be it, but then I realize it also/still has to do with the human need to control, categorize, re-member, and at the same time my own need to re-order things so that the sum of the rearranged parts of what was once whole, is something completely new and now another whole that plays with the subconscious and with memory.

(You can see why I hate artist statements I hope. My own confuse me and other people's so rarely add to what I'm about to experience when I see their stuff.)

Now that I think about it, I would like to make an artist statement in the same way. A bunch of words tossed around like magnets on a fridge, or those auto-generated word pictures, and you can decide for yourself what it is I'm trying to say. But that would seem so trite and kitschy it pisses me off just thinking about it. (I mean why not just have some emo band sing to you about it as you enter the gallery too?) Whatever I'm after, it doesn't seem very conducive to having language describe it.

On another note, the picture was found here, where the various names for what I call "pop" are discussed since that's what the map is all about. Interesting that it's the most common term in the area closest to our border. I've always thought the use of the word "soda" was to do with generations not locations. And the use of the word "cola" or "coca" to do with non-north-americans, since most of my experiences abroad involve one of those two terms and it always confused me.

this photo is linked to it's original source
the article gives you all the other source stuff at the bottom of it.

Have you met

2008-09-03T22:58:00.003-06:00

sprouthead?

whom I just discovered through the amazingflickrite and blogger Art & Ghosts.....

Have you heard...(colour)
Originally uploaded by Art and Ghosts

on how xmas 1985 no longer sucks

2008-09-01T22:52:00.003-06:00

because the gift of what was then a very good yamaha keyboard has suddenly made my life way way way easier, just 23 years later, through the purchase of this uber handy cable. No more mouse clicking on every damn note along with all the errors involved. No more "I guess I'll wait until the next computer". Just plug in and play and the computer writes it for me.

Did you know?

2008-08-30T16:26:00.002-06:00

Youtube now has annotations.....little buttons you can click on in a video to send you to another video.

I hope you get through a few and find yourself watching the B-52 style and the Goth metal. Came across this and the new feature (just how new is this?) when my dad forwarded this to me.

Light show

2008-08-30T08:44:00.003-06:00

I have been working with a good friend through the process of EFT on ridding myself of the insane anxiety I experience around thunder storms, thunder, lightning, storms on the horizon that aren't even coming near me, the possibility of thunder or lightning coming later in the day when I might be outside.....you get the picture.

About a month ago when we had all those storms right over my apt. with the loudest thunder ever, I had a lot of opportunity to see how I was progressing. Thanks universe! At some point I realized that thunder didn't bother me at all anymore. Crazy loud cracks of it that would make the apt. shake and I was quite fine. But lightning still scared the crap out of me. I couldn't go near a window and would have to sit in the kitchen with the view partially blocked by the wall and just not look.

And as these things seem to go, suddenly all the storms we had were silent and the lightning was incredible. My anxiety was still very high every time and I was so incredulous that lightning was such an issue now that thunder was not.

We had a long break from the storms until last night the most amazing lightning show went on for about an hour. Still completely silent. I found myself standing at the window for a good half and hour watching and taking photos and marveling that I truly felt no hint of anxiety.

And then it came back, but only a little and just near the end.

Is it possible I could truly be free of this? Last night was the first time I could even imagine it possible.

On how I feel

2008-08-27T21:11:00.001-06:00

now that the day is done. Too bad I'm not as pretty as this cat.

Back at it

2008-08-27T08:52:00.002-06:00

In order to survive the new year and keep parents happy about my vacation, I am spending the next two days teaching private classes for eight hours at a time, with a small break in the middle. In case you're wondering, after five hours I usually turn into a pumpkin.

Thankfully after a month of this

I feel all full of energy and optimism.

Thanks Kari!

2008-08-20T13:45:00.009-06:00

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is (a current) celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to do when you grow up?
10. Who/what do you love most in life?
11. Choose one word that describes you?
12. What is your Flickr name?

Click on numbers for links to original photos. I will leave the interpretation of my answers to you.

Since the discussion I was fearing went so incredibly well, the one about my pending very inconveniently timed vacation and trip for a wedding and potential meeting with E ....I decided it was okay to waste a little more time on the interweb.

Want to play? Type your answer to each question into Flickr search. Using only the first page, pick an image. Copy and paste the urls into Mosaic Maker.

onomatopoeia for excited sigh needed

2008-08-19T13:13:00.001-06:00

suggestions welcome

succumber

2008-08-16T11:35:00.002-06:00

First there was amy, whom I just barely managed to ignore.

And then there was ernesto on a somewhat related note. Incidentally on of my students got me into comics via this.

And then there was suttonhoo who's post title sucked me in.

It seemed the universe wanted me to spend my morning this way.

B claims he would recognize me even if I hadn't mentioned it was me.

hooray!

2008-08-16T01:33:00.003-06:00

I typed in 'mask' and got this which then led to this and the explanation here.

I typed in 'mr toast'

which led to this:

and this:

and now I'm hungry yet oddly satisfied and at peace.

Speed of life,fast,it's like walkin' barefoot over broken glass

2008-08-12T12:08:00.005-06:00

Here I am in yellowbird's apt. supposedly getting some work done but really just taking a tonne of photos of her cats. It's raining and therefore I want to go out but 'can't' because I don't want a repeat of yesterday's getting soaked for a coffee.

Whenever I come here I do the same thing. I go through the monster tape wall that we used to share (and thank god my own portion of is dwindling), find any number of tapes I have made her over the years and listen to them. I'm such a creature of habit.

It was a blues revival for a while but now it's german hip hop mixed with answering machine messages. I think the fine art of a mixed tape can only be replaced by splicing all your tracks into one track before giving away. and where's the warpage? how sad that digital media doesn't have that downfall.

and now Ice-T. yay!

This is Judy. You've met her before.

and her flatmate whom you've also met before.

apparently he likes that chair.

Home soon. Too bad I don't have time to go through all of this....

Red River Gal

2008-08-11T11:33:00.006-06:00

From this valley they say you are going,
I shall miss your blue eyes and sweet smile,
And you take with you all of the sunshine
That has brightened my pathway awhile.

The story so far...

2008-08-05T18:41:00.003-06:00

In reverse order it seems.

we ate at the Wickaninnish Inn, sorry to say suze, but it was entirely fabulous but we didn't order wine. did have the amazing "Back of God's Hand" Stout which was fantastic.

Off to Van tomorrow. new ferry ride and wedding to come.

Off traipsing about tomorrow,

2008-08-01T18:33:00.004-06:00

combining 4 trips into one, flying from far west coast to dead centre where yellowbird awaits me (at last!). A resort and a lot of driving, a wedding, a reunion, and BEST FRIEND YAY!!!

Sights in the past week or so.....

Puppy diptych

electrolucy kebab-a-thingie

one of a few shots of us cousins for a joke book cover on a wedding gift

Ginger tag

2008-07-31T09:11:00.003-06:00

1. Last Movie I Saw In A Movie Theater?
Vantage Point

2. What Book Are You Reading?
Just finished The Miracle at Speedy Motors

3. Favorite Board Game?
Scrabble

4. Favorite Magazine?
I don't really read them.

5. Favorite Smells?
clean dirt, lilacs, raspberries, B...

6. Favorite Sounds?
a well placed planta on a resonant floor

7. Worst Feeling In The World?
shame

8. First Thing You Think of When You Wake?
yerba mate

9. Favorite Fast Food Place?
booster juice but really for their panini not their juice

10. Future Child's Name?
George?

11. Finish This Statement—“If I Had a Lot of Money, I'd......
go to Seville and take classes

12. Do You Drive Fast?
when I'm late, which is often and one of the many reasons I don't own a car.

13. Do You Sleep With a Stuffed Animal?
no

14. Storms—Cool or Scary?
recently moving from scary to bearable

15. What Was Your First Car?
1990 Sprint

16. Favorite Drink?
horchata, mate, guiness, green tea

17. Finish This Statement—“If I Had the Time, I Would…...
probably be wearing a watch

18. Do You Eat the Stems on Broccoli?
yes

19. If You could Dye your Hair Any Other Color, What Would It Be?
why couldn't I, I wonder? I'm really not a fan of hair dying.

20. Name All the Different Cities In Which You Have Lived
Leaf Rapids
Calgary
Edmonton
Wennigser Mark
Hamburg
Santiago

21. Favorite Sport to Watch?
does that include dance?

22. One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You.
she's a fantastic writer. I love her posts.

23. What’s Under Your Bed?
the frame for another smaller bed

24. Would You Like to Be Born As Yourself Again?
absolutely

25. Morning Person or Night Owl?
both but not at the same time

26. Over Easy or Sunny Side Up?
it used to be the latter but has been slowly changing to the former

27. Favorite Place to Relax?
walkway overlooking the river valley

28. Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?
ice cream really makes me sick, but I love chocolate and sometimes indulge anyway

I tag electrolucy for obvious reasons.

Stuck in my head

2008-07-30T12:58:00.001-06:00

Phyllis

2008-07-22T12:43:00.015-06:00

I woke up last night at 3 and for the life of me couldn't sleep until about 6:30 this morning. Wide awake, not really hot, not really bothered, just knowing that sleep was done for a bit and not wanting to toss and turn next to B who gets up early. I read the rest of Pride and Prejudice. I've read it before but just last weekend I had a bit of a Jane Austen fest with my sister and she loaned me the latest movie version of the story and somehow I needed to see just where some of that dialogue was coming from.

I've had such an aching heart lately, somehow reliving quite vividly moments in my past that I'd forgotten to even remember. Visited with some very dear old friends and had a long look at photos of my life that I've never seen before. A Jane Austen fest is not a cure for melancholy, nor are mountain views, stormy skies, or lack of sleep.

It's been a while since I've been up alone at dawn. The smell of it brought back memories. Of waking up in a tent and of all the tents I've ever woken up in. Of being woken up at 5am to pile in the back seat of our car with pillows and blankets to head off on our annual family road trip to the coast. Trying to beat the traffic through the mountains for as long as we could on the 13 hour trip. Of backpacking through foreign countries, getting off a train in a new setting or saying goodbye as I boarded another. Most of my travel seems to take place at dawn.

I woke up much later this morning to a message from my dad. My favourite great aunt passed away in the night. She was in her 90's and had long ago decided that she was tired and ready to die and was quietly waiting for release. I have reminders of her all over my apartment. some of her dishes, a mirror that used to hang in her apt, a damaged crystal decanter that lives in my bathroom, a covered dish with scottie dogs on it that we keep our laundry money in......

Last year when she went into the hospital permanently, I put together a cassette and a card and told her how very important she has been to me in my life. I was so worried I would offend her and in the end I think it was the best thing I could ever have done.

I can't sum up her influence on me in words. If ever I aspired to be like anyone, it was her and what a role model she was. To me she has always been the model of what it is to be female. Sharp mind, sharpest wit, a lovely smile and a way of talking that made everything seem so alive. A way of talking to people that made them feel truly loved without her ever having to say it. She smoked and drank sherry every day until it was truly impossible to do so. I loved her growly voice and especially her writing. She would send a note in thick black ink as a reply to every correspondence, even a postcard. She had dark black reading glasses and covered match books in felt and jewels and kept them in the bathroom next to such lovely soaps and lipstick holders. When I visited, she always made us grilled cheese sandwiches which I love.

In two weeks we are on our way to the coast again and were planning to visit her. In some ways I'm glad we can't. I don't want my last memory of her to be the hospital. The other memories are so wonderful.

Below is a photo of her daughter's grave which I visited for the first time on my honeymoon. One of my names is after her, she died in her early twenties in a car crash. The silver text had been completely covered in lichen and so was perfectly preserved.